I feel great
I just peed on a car
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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