I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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