new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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