At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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