and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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