You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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