White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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