Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
