ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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