i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
