May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize