My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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