ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
