yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
