hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Someone shit on the floor
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
we're so committed to being not committed
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
