I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
i think i just lost a toe
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
