Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Its about making memories worth repressing
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
