I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize