Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
