last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
