there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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