Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize