Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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