im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize