call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
