You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
