Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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