I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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