I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
