the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
