I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
