question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
