all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Randomize
