Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
