All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
