Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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