Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
