don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
i think im in europe. pls send help
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
