you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize