Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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