9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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