I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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