so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
