well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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