I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
