I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
