Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Hippo gnu deer
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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