i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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