I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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