so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I intend to get homeless drunk
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
