sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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