It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
