ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
