ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
