You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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