how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
