Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
