With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
