I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just high enough for therapy.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He? As in you personified your dick?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
