Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
