She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
