I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
