garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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