the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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