Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
