When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I pour the whiskey from now on
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
