I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
