Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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