she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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