she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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