I want to make a zoo with you.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
